Changing jobs won’t fix the story you’re trapped in.

I know because I tried. New company. New country. New title. Each change brought a fresh start. Then the same old anxiety crept back in.

Prove your worth.
Don’t slow down.
Earn your rest.

I told myself the job was the problem. But what I was really running from was me.

Your next job won’t save you if you’re still performing a version of yourself that’s rooted in fear. Those stories will always follow you around, no matter your salary or status.

Career change doesn’t start with a CV re-write. It starts with your nervous system and your willingness to tell a new story.

Dilt’s logical levels

Many people come to coaching feeling stuck. They’ve switched jobs, updated their CV, maybe even moved countries. But the dissatisfaction lingers. They say, “I thought this next move would feel better.”

Often, they’ve only shifted the surface-level layers of their life. Not the deeper ones.

To understand what I mean, let me introduce you to a model called Dilt’s Logical Levels. It helps map the layers where change can occur:

Environment – Where you are
e.g. You join a remote-first company or move to a new city

Behaviours – What you do
e.g. You update LinkedIn, apply for jobs, attend events

Capabilities – What you’re good at
e.g. You take a course, learn about AI, improve your skills

Beliefs & Values – What matters to you
e.g. You realise you value freedom more than status

Identity – Who you believe you are
e.g. You stop seeing yourself as just a strategist and start seeing yourself as a creative guide

Purpose or Vision – What you're here for
e.g. You feel called to support other women in finding their voice

The lower levels (environment, behaviour, capability) are easier to change. They’re also the most visible, which is why we go there first.

Sometimes, a new job or new skill does help. But if you haven’t addressed what’s happening at the deeper layers (your beliefs, identity, purpose, nervous system), you’ll end up re-enacting the same story in a new setting. A story like:

If you're not producing, you're falling behind.
Money equals safety, so don’t rock the boat.
Your value lies in how much you can handle.

These aren’t just thoughts. They’re survival strategies, rooted in your body and performed for years. No wonder the same patterns show up again, no matter the title, company or salary. You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a script you haven’t questioned yet.

Life scripts

Most of us are living out a story we didn’t consciously choose. In Transactional Analysis, these are called life scripts. They’re unconscious patterns and narratives we begin writing in early childhood, shaped by what we see, what gets praised and what helps us feel safe.

• By the age of 4, the essential plot is already forming

• By 7, the key themes and roles are in place

• By adolescence, the story is polished and revised with real-world characters

Then we live it. Not knowingly, but through the choices we make, the risks we avoid, the people we please and the roles we play.

Your life script is like an internal compass. Instead of pointing toward purpose, it points to what once felt safe. Maybe it sounds like:

I must succeed to be loved
It’s dangerous to stand out
I’m only valuable when I’m useful

These stories aren’t inherently bad. They helped you survive. But over time, they become cages. We keep following the script, hoping it will lead somewhere different. But the destination is already baked into the story.

Eric Berne, who created the concept of life scripts, believed every script is unconsciously written with a final scene—a payoff. We build our lives around reaching it. Even if we’re miserable. Even if it no longer fits. Letting go would mean rewriting the story. And that feels risky.

Berne described three categories of life scripts:

1. Winning – The story ends in achievement and fulfilment.

2. Losing – The goal is reached, but it comes at deep personal cost.

3. Banal – No high or low. Just safe, predictable and small.

Berne said you can often tell the difference by asking: “What would you do if this plan didn’t work out?”

• A winner has multiple options.

• A loser bets everything on one.

• A banal script avoids the question entirely.

How do you change the script?

You can’t think your way out of a story you’re performing in your body. These are learned patterns, often created to secure love, safety or attention when we were young. Maybe no one saw you unless you were achieving. Maybe love felt conditional on being good, helpful or successful. The way out is asking yourself:

What did I need back then that I didn’t get?
How can I meet that need now, with all the resources available to me as an adult?

You’re not a child anymore. You get to offer yourself what no one could give you: unconditional love, support without performance and space to just be. That’s what breaks the script and changes your trajectory.

Most of us were cast in a role before we even learned to speak. Maybe you were the golden child. The achiever. The peacemaker. You learned to earn love by being useful, staying small, getting it right. But you're not a child anymore. You get to ask: Is this still the story I want to live?

The path to meaningful work isn’t just about upskilling, networking or rewriting your CV (though, they are important). It’s about becoming aware of the deeper script that’s been driving your choices and gradually, writing a new one.

Curious about your own life script?

Here’s a prompt adapted from TA Today (Ian Stewart & Vann Joines)

Imagine you’re in a theatre. The play about to begin is the story of your life.

What kind of play is it? A comedy? A tragedy?
Is the theatre full or empty?
What’s the mood of the audience? Are they engaged, asleep or walking out?
What’s the title of your life’s play?

Now watch the scenes unfold:

• Scene 1: Your earliest memory as a young child

• Scene 2: You between ages 3–6

• Scene 3: A snapshot of your teenage years

• Scene 4: A scene from your current life

• Scene 5: A glimpse 10 years from now

• Final scene: The closing scene of your life story

Notice what themes, patterns and roles emerge. Is this the story you still want to live?

You don’t need to change everything today. But noticing the story is the first step in rewriting it.

The work beneath the work

This is the change beneath the career change. Career change doesn’t start with your CV. It starts in your nervous system and in the stories you’re ready to stop performing.

When you begin to move out of your script, the payoff isn’t just a new job. It’s a new relationship with yourself. One where you stop performing and start belonging.

Not someday, when you’ve earned it.

But now.

About Work Worth Doing

Work Worth Doing is a space for people who’ve outgrown a professional career they’ve spent years building, and aren’t sure about what comes next. You’ll find essays on identity, purpose and finding fulfilment outside of work too.

I work 1:1 with people transitioning from a professional career into meaningful work. To learn more about how coaching can support you, book a consultation or learn more below.